1. |
Without
02:07
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Spent a little time counting scarecrows. The stitches in their eyes kept my hands cold. I didn’t know.
Behind a wooden fence, in the orchard, he’s waiting on the branch– a perch upon the neck to a songbird. A gentle stranger cuts him down.
He came in love. He came upon me. He came to haunt me.
Now he is sleeping, locked in a basement– a scarecrow wrapped in white linen blankets. Though you had loved him far and beyond, it hurts to be lonely once again.
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2. |
weakening
04:34
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Quiet, Peter. I am hiding from a savage terry cloth lion. From a tiger, plush and scary. From a bear, ferocious and beary.
But don’t worry. Don’t be frightened. They won’t bite you unless you bite them– like the crackers in the sofa Daniel hid last time we came over.
When the sharks and minnows come to feed, little scarlet billows spread in rings– rings of roses replacing roses that wither. Roses return to dust and dither. Ringing around and around and again– ah, all that I want is Barnum and Bailey.
Charley Horse, in locomotion, routed Thomas into the ocean. As an iceberg broke his heading–
Jesus carried Peter to heaven.
In a stubbly chin and hospice gown, Peter kissed my cheek and laid back down.
And then thousands of gleaming heavenly figures cheered as his body quaked and quivered. Ringing around and around and again– ah, all that I want–
Ringing around and around and again– ah, all that I want– ah, all that I want is Barnum and Bailey.
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3. |
in his faith,
02:42
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I will be raised again in the glory of Christ my savior. There, by the trumpet, flash, and flicker, I will be raised again.
I found a jealous hand in the eyes of a grieving father holding a pair of ruby slippers. I will be raised again.
With no regret for the choice that I’ve made and no contempt for this failing body, I will return to dust and dither. I will be raised again.
(I am sorry I failed you, my God, with all of my heart. Are you still here in the dark?)
But even so, I’m a little afraid of the father who kneels beside me. There, by the trumpet, flash, and flicker, will I be raised again?
I am a jealous lamb on the shoulders of Christ my savior. I will return to dust and dither. I will be raised again.
Holding a pair of ruby slippers, I will be raised again.
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4. |
he faced the fact that
03:45
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In this tunnel, I can see a little flicker in the dark behind me. All my friends are gathering a little party up to come and find me. But if I were to turn back now, I’m afraid that they would never forgive me.
I am alive. I am breathing. I have won. I survived. I have been left behind. But maybe in time, I will come to find some light– silver lines in a tunnel with all my friends. But Arthur I miss you, and all I want right now is a place to hide.
To his lips, he raised a gleaming silver trumpet as he passed before me. Little Brother beamed with joy as he paraded into a cloud of glory.
And in a flash, my eyes were blinded. And suddenly, my body awakened beneath a pile of pure white ashes.
Oh, Arthur, what happened?
I am alive. I am breathing. I have won. I survived. I have been left behind. But I swear there’s a light and I saw it with my eyes.
I am blind in a tunnel with friends.
So I’ll be alright. I’ll be fine. I’ll take one step at a time ‘til I step through the other side. Maybe then, I will turn around and find silver lines breaking through to the tunnel’s end. Oh Arthur I loved you, and I hope you found love on the other side.
Because all I want right now is a place to hide.
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5. |
his body
03:01
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(I am sorry I failed you, my God, with all of my heart. Are you still here in the dark?)
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6. |
was
02:32
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It’s nice to warm my hands, folding laundry. She’s knocking on the door. A vulture comes to feast on his body. A gentle stranger lets her in.
She comes in love. She comes upon me. And she is crying. She says the boys are looking healthy. And she is lying.
But he is stirring, down in the basement. And when he stands, my white linen blankets will rustle, billow, tremble, and fall. It hurts to be lonely once again.
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7. |
as good as dead–
04:00
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Four days from port Southampton, my body was found entombed in a cargo bin laid out and padded with white satin evening gloves.
Exhumed and disimpacted, flung over the bulwark into the sea, I knew I’d been abandoned by everyone I love.
I can see a growler on the waves breaking above my body. Jesus Christ is reaching out his hand, fighting the tide to save me. I can see him fighting.
Cassie carried Ana to the St. John’s harbor light, and her eyes were big and round with turned-in corners like her brother’s. I held to her hand to keep her steady on the line, and in that moment, I remembered that I never got to thank you.
Arthur, did you make it over to the other side? Are you well and are you waiting at the end of it? Because I’m still holding to the hand I found reflected in your eyes, where I swear I saw the neverending faithfulness of God, so that one day, I can finally tell you–
That I was glad you were alive.
Three days to West Manhattan. Send word to my friends, I’m finally coming home.
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Esko Tiko Washington, D.C.
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